When They Gonna Turn Into Something, Daddy?

Adam took his four year old son, Lane, to the movies. Lane, like boys of all ages, wants action. He isn’t interested in character introduction or plot development or foreshadowing of the conflict between protagonist and antagonist. Lane judges whether a movie is good or bad on how long it takes for the heroes to emerge in all their glory. This movie,“The Fantastic Four,” actually gets to the action fairly quickly, according to Adam

It wasn’t quick enough for Lane, however. After about five minutes, Lane exclaimed to Adam, “When are they gonna turn into something, Daddy?” That is a wonderful question about movies, and about life. When I am going to turn into something heroic, or at least purposeful?

I went to the movies Saturday and got there early. First I watched “The Twenty,” which is twenty minutes of advertisements disguised as supposed entertainment. Then there were several previews of coming attractions. I was wondering when all these preliminaries were going to turn into a feature. But I am conditioned to arrive early and wait through what the theater wants me to see and hear.

Lane, and other preschoolers, may be onto something important. While we are planning and waiting and procrastinating, we may be missing an opportunity to turn into something, perhaps even something better. I don’t know if we can be one of the Fantastic Four, or an Incredible, or your favorite superhero. We can be something better than we are, if we’ll use our imagination and innate creativity that adults tend to forget is present within us. We can act instead of watch. So let’s turn into something that makes a difference in this world.

Posted September 30th, 2005 in Learning from Children

We Work for Money

A friend has two sons, who are now teenagers. When they were preschoolers, he was teaching them about serving others without reward. After a storm, Troy and his sons were picking up limbs in their yard. They also picked up limbs and other debris in the yard of their older neighbor. When the gentleman offered to pay the boys, Troy told the neighbor that they were glad to help, and it’s better to give than to receive, and that neighbors help one another, and all the nice homilies. The preschoolers could file this conversation in their minds for reminders as they matured.

Troy went inside, and the boys stayed outside with the neighbor, continuing to help him pick up small branches. After awhile, one of the boys remarked, “We know what Daddy said, Mr. Johnson, and it all sounds real nice. But we work for money!”

That story has stuck with me for years now, and I often wonder where they learned that lesson so early in life. What reward and recognition do we seek in order to perform at our best? What motivates us to work for others, to serve, to fulfill our life purpose? I doubt it is just one thing, but most appear to have a few things that drive us. Do I work just for money, or is there something more important?

Posted September 17th, 2005 in Learning from Children

Great Expectations

Olivia, our granddaughter, will be one year old tomorrow. I was telling her father some months ago that I have great expectations for her. It was just one of those chance remarks one sometimes makes. He brought me up short when he told me she has great expectations of me too. That puts the conversation in a different context.

I imagine that Olivia and I have pretty simple expectations at this point for one another. We seem to be doing all right with one another so far, since I do whatever she wants. I have found that is the best way to meet what others expect. It’s easy for me to be that way with Olivia, though it is sometimes difficult with others.

It did make me wonder about my expectations of others compared to my expectations of myself. Do I expect perfection of others, while cutting myself slack for my less than perfect performance?

A performance management system I have used classified performance into areas, which included “exceeds expectations” and “meets expectations.” It also included “needs improvement.” Most individuals thought they either met or exceeded expectations. They also thought that others probably did not exceed expectations. It led to interesting performance discussions, since all were competing for a limited salary increase pool.

What I learned was to set high standards for myself and challenge others to set high standards. If we gained clarity in defining and measuring goals, then the individuals and the team exceeded expectations. So have great expectations and fulfill them.

Posted July 4th, 2005 in Learning from Children